Hailey O'Brien was ready to quit. 

Figure skating–the sport she'd been pinned in a lovers' quarrel with since the age of six–had become dormant in the months leading up to her first semester at TMU. 

What started as a hobby on the outdoor rink that surrounded O'Brien's elementary school in Nepean, Ont, spiralled to a premature end due to one element of her skating routine, that despite her resilient efforts, she couldn't land. 

The jump. 

It was a mental block that attacked her skating career out of nowhere and impeded O'Brien's on-ice confidence all throughout her senior year of high school. Just two years prior, jumping was actually one of O'Brien's strengths and a pivotal component of her growing arsenal as a young figure skater. 

"I had a great point in Grade 10 where I was landing all these jumps and I was landing new jumps within a three week span. I was progressing," said O'Brien. 
 

"All of a sudden, that progression stopped." 

So did O'Brien's desire to be on the ice. Her inability to replicate what once was a hallmark of her routine left O'Brien content with watching the clock run down on her practice sessions and continue to spiral out of control. 

"I just felt like I was stuck in it even though there are a million ways to get out of it," reflected O'Brien on the blockade that toppled her confidence less than a year out from university. 

"I wasn't open to it ending and it was really a cycle that I was in my own head," she added. 

That vicious cycle of doubt and fear followed O'Brien across the 401 to her first fall semester at TMU. 

Spending her free time teaching figure skating to younger kids at Toronto's Moss Park Arena, O'Brien found herself in one of the building's tapered dressing rooms talking with another coach about the university she'd just arrived at before being interrupted.  

"Oh my God, you go to TMU?," asked a woman untying her skates on the wooden bench beside O'Brien. 

Eavesdropping the conversation and immediately butting in was Marion Pollard, a second-year figure skater with the TMU Bold, who beamed with excitement as she connected the dots between O'Brien's sleek skates and the school she overheard she was sharing a residence with. 

"You should join the [figure skating] team," added Pollard, to which O'Brien hesitantly answered "I don't think so" before making her way onto the ice for her session. 

The two picked up their conversation outside of the arena later that day and walked in circles–-partially due to O'Brien's lack of familiarity with the area surrounding her new home–but mostly to hear out Pollard's sales pitch of the university's figure skating team. 

Mentally, O'Brien still wasn't over the mental block that scattered potholes in her skating development earlier in the year. Admittedly, she still couldn't land a jump to save her life and had abandoned her efforts in completing that segment of the routine that she thought was mandatory at the university level. 

The two parted ways with O'Brien's invitation to the team's tryouts in two-weeks time, a feat the then first-year nervously attended at the Mattamy Athletic Centre (MAC). 

O'Brien reflected her first trip to the MAC's ice level by getting herself lost while searching for the team's change room nestled in the underbelly of the four-level facility. 

By the time she got on the ice, O'Brien danced to the Harris Tango, a dance pattern consisting of quick crossovers, a steady pace and more importantly, no jumps. By the end of the session, second-year Bold skater Anna Carter praised her performance that ultimately earned O'Brien a spot on the team for the 2022-23 season. 

"I remember getting an email a couple weeks later," recalled O'Brien on being added to the team. "It was exciting that I pushed myself to go because I was originally so against it."

Since receiving that email in September of her first year, O'Brien has developed her on-ice skills without having to worry about performing a jump that might lure her into another mental barricade for an extended period of time. 

"There are a lot of girls on the team that don't jump anymore that used to," said O'Brien. "Now that I met a bunch of new skaters, I see that it's not just me, it's a bunch of people," she added. 

"I realized that I do still love the sport and just this one piece of it kind of blocked it off for me and eliminating that fixed my problems."

Now skating in her third season with the club, O'Brien is marvelled by her teammates and head coach, Lyndsay Burrows, for her exemplary footwork and dedication towards developing a new set of skating skills. 

Both are expected to help shift the goalposts on TMU's season with the OUA Championship just two months away. 

"I feel like my technical skills have gotten alot better. Even very simple elements that are in these higher-level dances, I think I've worked on, the more they've become faster and stronger," said O'Brien. 

Among strengthening her skating arsenal during practice, O'Brien has also spent the lion's share of her third year with the club challenging herself to perform her dance routine in pairs rather than solo and accomplish a feat she has yet to do in her figure skating career. 

O'Brien has worked closely with first-year skater Kiley Tasker this season to help familiarize herself with the challenges of performing a routine with an extra skater by her side. 
 

The duo are hopeful to compete in the Star 8/9 Couples Dance event at OUA's later this season and have made promising strides in their routine since the start of September. 

Comforting or not however, these challenges have taught O'Brien the value of commitment both towards her craft and the moments in life that require its presence to yield success. 

Whether it arrives in the form of reluctance surrounding one of her many Architectural Science assignments, or not wanting to show up for a work shift, her unwavering determination to stay the course has helped prepare her for the times when life deals her a deplorable hand.

"You have to dedicate your time and give 100% to what you're doing," said O'Brien. 

"Not to say it'll always come back to you, but there are good results that come out of it."

It was dedication that helped O'Brien see the bigger picture to a mental block that stript the joy from the sport she loved and threatened to leave her skating career in Ottawa back in 2022.

Three years later, it's that same mindset that leaves O'Brien unable to imagine living her university life without the likes of figure skating and the relationships she has made from it. 

And though her two feet may never leave the ice surface again throughout her final years competing at TMU, it is jumping, or in O'Brien's case, a lack thereof, that has opened her eyes to the many ways around whatever mental obstacles might obstruct her joy in life. 

Because if there's one thing her lover's quarrel with the sport has taught O'Brien, it's that snags, although deteriorating to one's confidence and belief in themselves, are common. 

But so too is getting out of them, and being in a better headspace as a result.