According to the dictionary, the definition of Pride is: "the quality or state of being proud: such as a reasonable or justifiable self-respect." Too many people pride month is the celebration of who they are and uplifting the 2SLGBTQ+ community. To me, Pride is acceptance in who I am as a whole and the ability to be confident in the person I am becoming. 

Hi, my name is Jyoti Ruparell, and I am a libero on the Rams women's volleyball team. I am also a South Asian, 2SLGBTQ+ athlete, specifically identifying as bisexual. I came out to the world in 2019 with an article with the OUA. I was terrified. Other than my family, only a handful of friends knew and maybe one or two teammates, but otherwise, it was my coming out moment to everyone. I got an overwhelming amount of support from family, friends, and many individuals within our Rams community (*cue deep sigh of relief*).

As athletes, we have an expectation set by ourselves and the people around us to perform on the court, forget about everything else, and play our best. Training as an athlete and getting to the varsity level takes more time, commitment, and sacrifice than most people like to recognize. While we compete and spend our time dedicated to a sport that helps make up our identity, many mental health challenges come with that. There's a constant fear of never being good enough, being overwhelmed by all of the training and competition, balancing academics and athletics, sacrificing a "normal" social life, body image issues and dysmorphia, and more. It's challenging to let go and make sure these factors do not impact our performance in sport, but it makes us bond with our teammates, knowing that we are here, together, to win. 

Now, add in being a person of colour. In volleyball, it is less common to see people of colour, let alone South Asians. In our culture, we have a firm focus on family and academics as the path to our futures. Furthermore, we hold different practices and beliefs than others which can create a cultural barrier, even when you've grown up in Canada your whole life. Now include openly identifying as 2SLGBTQ+. There's typically not a lot of acceptance for 2SLGBTQ+ people in the South Asian community. Surrounding this, there is a lot of "shame" and rejection in a lot of South Asian communities, which often leads to depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues.

The thing with identifying as bisexual is that there are a lot of stigmas both outside and within the 2SLGBTQ+ community. There is a lot of biphobia, such as people saying that if you identify as bisexual, you're straight but looking for attention, "it's just a phase," we're too afraid to come out as gay, or even saying we have "the best of both worlds" because we are attracted to more than one gender. These are things that have been told to me time and time again. 

There's a certain amount of insecurity within yourself when you're open. There's always a fear of coming out and assumptions that would be made about you, the discrimination you may face every day, but to me, facing that fear was worth it if it meant that I could be honest with the world. Many stories include the feeling of hiding yourself from others, but I look at it as a shield—a shield from a world of hate, from discrimination and dealing with negative emotions. As a South Asian, bisexual female athlete, you have to deal with a lot. You balance the intensity of being an athlete, the battles of being a woman, the South Asian heritage and culture mixed with belonging to another community (being 2SLGBTQ+) that may or may not be accepted by others, including friends, family, teammates, etc. 

One of the most critical discussions in sport is to talk about our athletes' mental health. That has to include intersectional identities and making space for people of colour, 2SLGBTQ+ identities, and understanding that what these athletes go through in everyday life may be more than what is comfortable and expected. I'm lucky. My family has accepted me with open arms, my friends and the Rams community have been there for me, but there is still a struggle that we face with our mental health regarding these intersectional identities.

I am proud of who I am. I am on the path to becoming the best version of myself, including being out and celebrating that. There have been a lot of obstacles throughout my journey on the way to accepting myself; however, the abundance of love and support from everyone around me has given me the comfort I needed to live my best life. I haven't participated in Pride fully since I came out due to the pandemic, but that won't stop me from celebrating who I am and celebrating those around me. 

Happy Pride to everyone celebrating. Remember, you are valued, you are loved, and you deserve nothing but joy in your life. I hope that my story helps those who cannot live their truths and have been too hurt to shine. If your light has been dimmed, there is a community that will accept you with open arms and support you no matter what. 

xx Go Rams xx